Mind Your Manners & Your Bidness

So, I’m blatantly aware that in our great country, we have this thing called “Freedom of Speech”.  It’s cool.  I like it.  However, the lack of censorship on some people is usually a constant source of frustration for not just me, but many.  With this freedom comes lots of double standards and speculation. Essentially, I think the world would be a better place if people made an effort to not be rude by thinking before speaking and minding their own business.

In the way of double standards, here are a few:

What’s worse?  A fat kid making fun of a skinny kid OR a skinny kid making fun of a fat kid? 

Obviously, the majority of people will have more sympathy for a fat kid.  As a formerly skinny kid and a current skinny adult, I find myself feeling sympathy for fat kids on TV, too.  How cute are that kid on Bad Santa and Jake on the old episodes of Two and a Half Men?!  The truth is that fat kids and chubby adults come off as being endearing and sweet. 

No one ever feels sorry for a thin person. Skinny people can be called unflattering names while others openly speculate about their eating habits and the size of their clothes, but as long as you’re a size 0 or 2 instead of a 26 or 28, it’s ok.  Skinny people are small, so it’s quite obvious that they have less feelings. 

Not only are skinny people mocked, but they’re often accused of insulting others.  This happens to me sometimes.  I’m not a big talker, but, for some reason, every now and then, I’ll get accused of saying something about someone, whether it’s about the size of their legs or the way a piece of clothing fits.  I don’t have to say anything at all, but that person imagines all their insecurities flowing out of my mouth.  I find this to be an interesting phenomenon. 

I largely don’t care what people have to say about me and my weight.  I’m a healthy size 0 or 2 person who doesn’t make fun of people of any size.

Still, I think this double standard is stupid.  No one likes people making fun of their weight, so it’s equally un-ok to poke fun at skinny people.

What’s worse?  Black people using the “H” word OR white people using the “N” word?

Both words are ridiculous, but I’d probably say that white people using the “N” word is more inappropriate than black people using the “H” word.  Why?  Because I’m a white person who doesn’t get offended by the “H” word or any other derogatory slang word used to describe white people.  I don’t care.  I’m pretty fond of my white skin, and a word won’t change that.  I have a feeling that most of the people I know probably feel the same.  I say “probably” because this isn’t something we discuss over yogurt or anything.

So,  in general, if a black person says the “H” word, it’s fine. If a black person uses the “N” word, it’s fine.  If a white person uses either word, they’re either seen as being ignorant or racist…but most probably BOTH. 

This is, indeed, a double standard that could be offensive to everyone.  I find it’s best to not use either word…ever.

What’s worse?  Making a political statement OR disagreeing with a  political statement?

Clearly, it’s worse to disagree with a political statement or movement.  Currently, we have this beautiful Occupy Wall Street movement happening.  While these people are exercising their “freedom of speech” by holding up signs in streets and asking for their college tuition to be paid, it’s NOT ok for someone else to openly disagree.  I recently had this discussion with a staunch OWS supporter.  “Rich people are selfish.  The wealthy need to be taxed more.  Corporations are evil.  The Republicans are a mess.  I hate Herman Cain–his speeches are from Pokemon”.  So?  I don’t really care.  I think the movement is made up of college students and some others with a false sense of reality.  It’s not smart to take out 10′s of thousands of dollars in loans to go to an expensive college and think that you’ll make $100,000/year right after graduation with no work experience.  Just because a person ends up less successful than they thought, their debt should not be forgiven. It seems silly to me, but saying this very statement is a grave, horrific attack worthy of Facebook deletion…which is hilarious in itself. 

In terms of people minding their own business, here are some thoughts:

The lives of the general public are not meant to be soap operas and great spectacles to entertain the masses.  If people want juicy gossip, watch E! or read about Kim Kardashian.  Don’t get your jollies from the misadventures/misfortunes of people you know and supposedly like.  Their business is none of your business unless they choose to tell you.

So:

-If someone makes a vague comment or posts something on Facebook, why speculate?  Just note that it’s a vague statement and move on without assuming it’s about you. 

-The amount of money in someone else’s wallet is none of your business.   The way they spend their money is not up for negotiation or debate either.  It’s inappropriate to make comments about how someone should do something for you because they need the money.  A statement like that is all the more reason to NOT  do the thing that you’re wanting them to do. 

-If you hear that someone is going through a rough patch of any kind, don’t call all your friends to inquire about this person’s misfortune.  You’re not genuinely concerned if you’re gossiping, so mind your own business and think of how much you like people flailing around tidbits about you without consulting you first.  There’s such a thing as privacy.

To conclude, people should quit being dramatic nincompoops and live their own lives without trying to degrade others or encroach on someone else’s privacy.  What can anyone gain by being insulting and nosy anyway?

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