Why I’d Refuse To Be A Lesbian

Out of nowhere, I often find myself thinking about other people’s lifestyles/lifestyle choices.  I go through the motions of reasoning why I believe certain things.  I wonder why some people are so anti-gay since, in my opinion, if it were so “unnatural,” it wouldn’t occur.  I’ve read that >10% of the population is homosexual.  While I know that 10% is the high number, that’s 1 in 10 people, which is significant. 

 Studies show that gay people are very altruistic.  Since they don’t normally procreate, they usually go above and beyond to take part in raising their siblings’ children to ensure that their own genes get passed down.  Here’s a link to that extraordinarily interesting article:  How Gay Uncles Pass Down Genes.  With that said, I’m of the opinion that this is a normal thing that has always existed in every society. 

SO, onto the next topic.

I could never be a lesbian because women are EVIL.  After a horrific day last week, my husband said, “One thing that you need to realize is that, outside of your circle of girl friends, you shouldn’t ever expect any other women to like you.  Women hate each other”.  I knew that there were good reasons for marrying him, and one of those reasons is his wisdom! 

It’s so true.  I love and adore all my friends.  They’re all nice, smart, beautiful, and loyal, but one thing that they are NOT is a threat.  That’s because we’re friends who look out for each other, care for each other, and look out for each other’s best interests.  Other women out in the wild (yes, the wild) don’t usually look out for other women who aren’t in their social circles.  Other women are competition.  Women will do everything but urinate on their possessions to keep outsider women at bay.  If any foreign woman invades another woman’s territory, one of two things will happen:  1) Claws protract and someone says, “Hold my earrings while I handle this!”, or 2) A condescending, ineffective attack of character occurs, which usually begins with “Lil girl!”.

Women are unaccepting of other women’s success, whether it’s a successful career, a special talent,  an extraordinarily fantastic partner, or just basically anything remotely cool.  There are limited reasons why one woman can be more successful than another.  They’re slutty and sleeping with someone in power.  They’re stupid, but genetically blessed.  They’ve had bodily enhancements that put them at an advantage.  Note that all of these reasons are of the physical persuasion.

Nowhere in the vast arsenal of knowledge and logic in most female minds is the fact that one girl might be smarter, kinder, more knowlegable in a certain area, or more well-rounded.  I’m not referring to every OTHER woman in the world.  I’m referring to myself, too, because other than all the women that I love, I’ve never met a woman nearly as smart as I am.

Last Friday, some women told me, “You’re memorable because you’re a skinny blonde, and that’s all that matters to men”.  That must be it considering that I have absolutely no personality or intelligence, and my wit is definitely lacking.  Yep, my blonde hair and bony body have sealed the deal on my life of greatness.  I can’t remember a time in my life where I’ve ever been so disrespected by other women than now, but all I can do is take it as a compliment. 

So, to all the lesbians in the world who can love, love, LOVE another woman in that special way in spite of their evilness, I applaud you.

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